Emotional Regulation

Acknowledge

This requires you to remain present with what is true in the moment and acknowledge that your emotions are valid and normal. If you are in a safe space you may be able to allow yourself to feel the emotions fully without needing to understand them right away. Try to name what you are feeling whether it may be anger, disappointment, frustration, or sadness etc. Being present means we acknowledge if how we feel in the moment is amplified by a past event or situation, or a future worry.

Check In

What do you need in this moment? Do you require space, another person's validation to talk it out, time to cool down or rest? Knowing what would soothe you allows you to check in with current feelings and thoughts and make sense of the situation and find ways to return to a more balanced state. Notice if this is the correct place and setting to process your emotions? Do you feel safe to express yourself with the people around you? Would it feel better to give yourself time to sit with the emotions alone or talk it out with someone who understands your situation.

Breathe & Ground

Find a comfortable place to rest and take a few slow deep breaths in - breathing fully into your ribcage, chest and back, using the diaphragm to assist in de-regulating the nervous system. Continue exhaling several times slowly to slow your heart rate and decrease the charge the emotion may have in your body. This will allow you to feel all of the passing feelings so they do not remain stored in the body. This allows us to actually sit with the truth of what we feel rather than trying to escape the discomfort of the feeling.

Regulate your nervous system

Allow yourself to slow down and connect to your body. Talk to a friend, sing, journal, breathe slowly, pet an animal, take a bath, walk, or meditate. Allow yourself to move through the emotions physically. If possible remove any triggers and stressors which arouse feelings of overwhelm. Overthinking, obsessing and holding onto the emotions without expressing them in a healthy way can lead to further stress in the nervous system.

Remain Neutral

Notice when you place blame and direct your emotions outwardly onto another when you are feeling emotionally charged or unstable. Often we can unconsciously project our internal conflict and discomfort on others as a way to escape the task of taking accountability for the part we play in our dynamics. This may be where we have allowed a boundary to be crossed or where we haven't stood up for ourselves. A greater level of self awareness can give us the opportunity to take responsibility for how we are feeling and take a step back to gather more information.

Self Reflect

Often in times of emotional intensity, our rational, logical thinking blurs. Take a moment to reflect on the current situation. Assess whether the emotional trigger or escalation is a realistic threat to you or whether it is a temporary reaction to a temporary situation. Are you reacting from a place of deeper wounding or insecurity? Have there been other events leading up to this moment that have caused you to feel threatened, misunderstood or treated unfairly?

Normalize your feelings

Your emotions are your guidance system. If you suppress them it can disconnect you from your truth and from what your authentic self needs to express. If you feel shame for feeling it may be common for you to do this. Remind yourself regularly that your concerns, anger, anxiety and struggle are normal and very real. Allow yourself to not be frightened or fearful of intense emotions by giving yourself the space to respond to them. You do not have to minimize your pain or your problems.

Speak to a Professional

There may be times when all of the ways we work with our emotional body and attempt to regulate ourselves cannot get us out of our funk. We may feel like we are stuck in a loop or pattern that continues to play out despite our efforts. This may be a good indicator that seeking professional help is needed. It can provide us with the tools required to shift our mental perceptions, beliefs and help us to work through unresolved traumas that continue to play out in our lives so we are then able to learn about ourselves, grow and find the clarity we seek.